Episode 25 - The Pulse Check: How to Identify Your Red Zone Before You Say Something You Can't Take Back | RAW Regulation

February 24, 2026

Have you ever felt a conflict escalating and wished you had caught it sooner — before the words came out, before the damage was done? In today's episode of The Regulated Life, I'm giving you your first Red Zone regulation tool: The Pulse Check.

This is not a breathing exercise. This is not a mindfulness technique. This is a 10-second somatic inventory — three layers deep — that you can run silently in the middle of any conversation without the other person knowing you're doing it.

Your body has been sending you Red Zone warning signals this whole time. Today we learn to read them.

IN THIS EPISODE:

✅ Why most people don't know they're in the Red Zone until they're already in it

✅ The three layers of the Pulse Check — physical, mental, and emotional signals

✅ The contempt signal — the fastest and most overlooked on-ramp to the Red Zone

✅ The one exhale that activates your vagus nerve and buys you Upstairs brain access

✅ How to practice this skill when the stakes are low so it's automatic when they're high

✅ Why two to three seconds of Upstairs access is enough to choose differently

KEY QUOTE FROM THIS EPISODE:

"Two or three seconds is the difference between the thing you mean to say and the thing you can't take back."

THE THREE LAYERS OF THE PULSE CHECK:

🔴 Layer 1: The Physical What is your body doing right now? Jaw tight? Shoulders raised? Breath shallow? Heat in your face or throat? These signals fire before your heart rate hits 100 BPM. Your body is already warning you. We learn to read it.

🔴 Layer 2: The Mental Are your thoughts narrowing and speeding up? Are you rehearsing what you're going to say instead of actually hearing what's being said? Tunnel-vision thinking is a cognitive sign of early Red Zone activation.

🔴 Layer 3: The Emotional Are you feeling contempt right now — even a flicker? That micro-moment of "I cannot believe this person" is one of the fastest on-ramps to the Red Zone there is. John Gottman identified contempt as the single greatest predictor of relationship breakdown. Catch it here, before it catches you.

THIS WEEK ON THE REGULATED LIFE — RED ZONE RULES:

🎙️ Monday Deep Dive: The Red Zone — Why High-Achievers Lose Their Minds in the Kitchen

🎙️ Tuesday (today):The Pulse Check

🎙️ Wednesday: The 20-Minute Rule

🎙️ Thursday: The 'I Need 90 Seconds' Script

🎙️ Friday: The Solo Reset

YOUR HOMEWORK FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

Run the Pulse Check three times today — not in a conflict, just in a moment of mild frustration. Notice what your body, your mind, and your emotional state are doing.

You are not looking for a crisis. You are building the habit of looking.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

🔴 Stop the Death Spiral Intensive — 5 seats remaining. We start Saturday. 👉 https://mind-fusion.com/intensive

🏠 Take the Inner Sanctuary™ Quiz — Find out which room of your healing house needs the most attention right now. 👉 https//mind-fuaion.com/relationship-nervous-system-quiz

📺 Watch the Full YouTube Video: The 100 BPM Rule — Why Your Brain Goes Offline When You're Angry 👉 https://youtu.be/0ZVAxUh32fI?si=Usrk7kfE6WObWP-P

FOLLOW MIND FUSION TRANSFORMATIONS:

📲 Instagram: @ericadc75 | @mindfusioncoach

💼 LinkedIn: Erica Folk

📌 Pinterest: Pinerest Profile

👥 Facebook: Facebook

ABOUT ERICA & MIND FUSION TRANSFORMATIONS:

Erica is the founder of Mind Fusion Transformations and the creator of the Inner Sanctuary™ Framework and Hypno-Breath Fusion™ method. With 30 years in education and deep certification in NLP Master Practitioner & Training, hypnotherapy, breathwork, and somatic practices, she helps high-functioning adults close the gap between who they know they are and who shows up when the pressure hits.

Her work is built on one foundational belief: you cannot think your way into regulation. You have to build it in the body — where patterns actually live.

IF TODAY'S EPISODE HELPED YOU:

Share it with someone who has ever said something in conflict they immediately regretted and couldn't explain why. Tell them their body has a warning system. They just haven't been taught to read it yet.

Leave a review if this podcast is helping you — it helps more people find their way to this work. 🔴

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Hey, welcome back. I'm Erica, and this is your Tuesday Raw Regulation, which means we're getting tactical. This week's theme is Red Zone Rules. Yesterday we talked about why high achievers lose their logic and conflict. Today I'm going to give you your first tool.

It's called the Pulse Check, and it's how you catch your red zone before it catches you.

Here's the problem most people have, they don't know they're in the red zone until they're already in it. The words are already out. The door is already slammed. The silence is already settled in like something heavy. And then comes the aftermath, the shame, the replay, the, "I don't know why I said that." So what we need is a early warning system. And here's the [00:01:00] thing, your body is already running one, it has been the whole time. You just haven't been taught how to read it.

The pulse check is a somatic inventory. Three layers, 10 seconds. You can run it silently in the middle of any conversation without the other person knowing you're actually doing it.

Here are the three layers.

Layer one is the physical. What is your body doing right now? Jaw tight? Shoulders crept up towards your ears? Breath shallow and high in your chest? Is the heat building in your face or your throat? Are your hands gripping something? A phone, a steering wheel, a counter. These are your body's red zone pre-alert. The fire before your heart rate hits a hundred beats per minute.

Before the hijack tastes complete control, your body sends signals. We learn to read them.

Layer two is the [00:02:00] mental. What are your thoughts doing? Are they narrowing? Speeding up? Are you rehearsing what you're gonna say, instead of actually hearing what's being said to you? Are you three sentences ahead loading your response while your partner is still mid-sentence? Tunnel vision thinking. That narrowing accelerating quality of thought is a cognitive sign of early red zone activation. Your upstairs brain is starting to lose the signal.

Layer three is emotional.

This one is subtle and this is the one most people miss. Are you feeling contempt right now? Like even a flicker? That micro moment of, "I can't believe this person." That flash of superiority of dismissal of, "here we go again", is one of the fastest on ramps to the red zone. There is John Gottman identified contempt as the single greatest predictor of relationship breakdown. And it [00:03:00] often arrives quietly . Well before the escalation point. So you're checking, do I feel contempt right now? Even a little? That's your layer three alert.

The full pulse check, all three layers, takes 10 seconds.

You ask, "body what's your report?" And then you listen.

Now here's the part that determines whether this becomes a real skill or just something you heard once on the podcast and forgot by Thursday. You have to practice the pulse check when the stakes are low. In traffic. In a frustrating meeting. When your kid pushes a button. When you're on hold for the third time and the music is terrible.

You're not waiting for the conflict to use this tool. You're training your nervous system to check in to run the scan, as a habitual automatic response to any rising [00:04:00] activation. The more you practice it, when the stakes are low, the more automatic it becomes when the stakes are high. When you're in the kitchen at 9:00 PM and the conversation is heading somewhere, you don't wanna go.

The pulse check fires before you have time to think about it. That's the goal. Automatic, embodied. Not a technique. You have to remember a response that lives in your body. And here's the hypno breath fusion piece I wanna layer in. Pair the pulse check with a single breath, not a technique, not a box breath sequence, not something elaborate,

just one full extended exhale. Longer out than in. That exhale activates your vagus nerve. It sends a direct signal to your basement brain. We are not being chased. The threat is not immediate.

It buys you two or three seconds of upstairs [00:05:00] access. Two or three seconds is enough to choose differently. Two or three seconds is the difference between the thing you mean to say and the thing you can't take back. Your homework today is simple. Run the pulse check three times before tomorrow.

Not in a conflict, just in a moment of mild frustration. Notice what your body, your mind, and your emotional state are doing. You're just building a habit of looking.

Tomorrow, the 20 minute rule. The science of how long it actually takes with cortisol to clear your system and why the way most people spend that time makes the hijack worse instead of better.

I'm Erica, take care of your nervous system. See you tomorrow.

Episode 25 - The Pulse Check: How to Identify Your Red Zone Before You Say Something You Can't Take Back | RAW Regulation

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