[00:00:00] Hey, love. This is raw regulation on the regulated life. Today we're talking about the pause that changes everything. Breathe, settle, be present.
Here's what I know to be true. Most of your people pleasing happens in the split second before you say yes. Someone ask you for something and before you even think, before you check in with yourself, you say, yes, automatic, reflective, programmed, but what if you paused? What if you gave yourself 10 seconds, just 10 seconds before you responded That pause.
That's where your power lies, because in that pause you have a choice. You can check in with your body. You can ask yourself, do I [00:01:00] actually want to do this? Or am I afraid of what happens if I say no? That pause is the difference between self abandonment and self preservation, and if no one's told you this lately, you don't owe anyone an immediate yes.
You're allowed to think about it. You are allowed to take your time. This pause, the pause is your friend, not your enemy?
When you say yes, immediately, you are bypassing your nervous system. You are not giving your body time to signal whether this feels safe or not. Whether you have the capacity or not, whether this aligns with your values or not, you are operating from conditioning, not from choice, but when you pause, even for [00:02:00] just a breath, you create space for your nervous system to speak, and here's what your body might tell you in that pause.
I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy for this. This doesn't feel right. Something is off about this. I wanna say yes, because I'm afraid they'll be upset if I don't. I actually don't want to do this. I'm just saying yes, out of guilt, that information, that's gold because now you have a choice. The pause doesn't mean you always say no.
Sometimes you'll pause and realize, I actually do want to do this.
But the pause gives you the option, and options are power. Let's practice the pause together. Right now I'm gonna ask you a question, and before you answer even in your head, I want you to pause, [00:03:00] breathe, and check in with your body. Ready. Can you help me move this weekend?
Notice what came up. Did you immediately wanna say yes? Did your chest tighten? Did you feel guilty at the thought of saying no? Just notice, no judgment.
Let's try another one. Can you stay late at work tomorrow?
What did your body say? Did it clench? Did it exhale? Did fear show up? Resentment? Your body knows You just have to pause long enough to listen.
Now, here's the practice for this week. Before you say yes to anything, pause for 10 [00:04:00] seconds. Take a breath. Ask yourself, do I actually want to do this? If the answer is no, or if the answer is, I don't know, practice saying, let me think about it and I'll get back to you.
That's it. That's the practice, the pause that changes everything. Take a deep breath with me in through your nose, out through your mouth.
You don't have to have all the answers right now. You just have to pause long enough to hear what your body is trying to tell you. Room by room, breath by breath. See you tomorrow. Ah.
