[00:00:00] Hey, love. Welcome back to the Regulated Life. This is your daily raw regulation. Today's truth saying no is self preservation. So breathe with me, settle in, be here.
Here's what I know to be true. Every time you say yes, when you mean no, you are not being kind. You're abandoning yourself and your nervous system, it's keeping score. We've been conditioned to believe that saying no makes us selfish, mean, difficult, ungrateful. But here's the real truth. Saying no is how you protect your energy, how you honor your capacity, how you teach people that you're not a resource to be consumed.
You're a person with limits. Saying no isn't [00:01:00] rejection, it's redirection. It's saying this doesn't work for me, and that's okay. And if no one's told you lately, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your no. You don't have to justify it, defend it, or apologize for it. No is a complete sentence, and it's sacred.
Your nervous system needs boundaries to feel safe. When you constantly override your own limits to accommodate others, your body registers that as a threat because you're teaching your nervous system. We don't matter. Our needs aren't important. We are only safe if we please everyone else and that, and that's keeping you stuck in survival mode.
Here's what happens when you start practicing. No, at first it [00:02:00] feels terrifying. Your nervous system panics, the guilt kicks in. The fear of disappointing people feels overwhelming, but that's not intuition. That's conditioning. Intuition says this doesn't feel right. Conditioning says, but I have to say yes or the or they'll be upset.
The more you practice saying no, especially to small, low stakes things, the more your nervous system learns. We can disappoint people and still be safe. We can prioritize ourself and still be loved. That's nervous system healing. That's reclaiming your living room.
Let's practice saying no together or right now. Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Breathe in for four. Hold [00:03:00] for four out for six.
Now I want you to think of something you recently said yes to, but wish you said no to. Don't judge yourself. Just notice.
Breathe.
Now, I want you to practice saying "no" out loud if you can, or silently if you need to say it with me.
No, that doesn't work for me.
Breathe in
hold.
Breathe out.
No, I'm not available.
Breathe.[00:04:00]
No. I need to prioritize myself right now. Breathe.
Notice what happens in your body. Does your chest tighten? Does guilt show up? Does fear arise? That's okay. That's your nervous system. Learning a new pattern. Just breathe into it. Let it soften. One more time, repeat after me. My no is sacred. My boundaries are protection. I am allowed to say no. Deep breath in hold and release.[00:05:00]
Take that with you. Your "no" matters. Your boundaries matter. You matter. You don't have to say yes to everything to be worthy of love. Room by room, breath by breath. I'll see you tomorrow. Ah.
