How People-Pleasing Hijacks Your Power
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Erica: [00:00:00] If you’ve spent your life making sure everyone else is okay—while slowly disappearing in the process—this one’s for you. Today, we’re breaking the cycle of people-pleasing and coming home to the real you.
Welcome to your sanctuary. Today we're gonna rip off a mask. Not to shame it, but to see it because you can't free yourself from what you're still performing. People pleasing feels polite on the outside, but inside it's pressure, it's panic.
It's a trapped you screaming to be heard.
Let's go in.
You become who they need, the peacemaker, the over- giver, the one who never needs anything back, but that version of you. They're [00:01:00] exhausted, they're bitter. They're disappearing in plain sight. Let me say this clearly, you are not responsible for other people's comfort at the cost of your wholeness.
Approval is not love. Being easy to love is not the same as being seen. Notice how your body feels hearing that. Maybe there's a tightening, a flutter or a sigh.
Let's move into the body where the truth can be felt. Not just heard.
We're not doing soft today. We're doing truth. If you're near a mirror, stand in front of it. If not, close your eyes and imagine your reflection staring back at you, stand tall. Not in a performance way,
in a, this is my [00:02:00] effing space kind of way. Widen your stance. Feel the floor underneath your feet. Bend your knees just slightly so you feel alive in your body. Now, roll your shoulders back, tilt your chin slightly upward. Not out of pride, but present. Yes. Feel that version of you in the mirror. The one who doesn't people please. The one who pauses before answering. The one who says, "no, that doesn't work for me." The one who doesn't shrink to fit into someone else's idea of good. Breathe here. Inhale slowly through your nose. Exhale with a forceful sigh outta your mouth.
Ah, again. This time, drop your jaw as you exhale, [00:03:00] let it sound like, ha.
Inhale. Exhale. Ha.
Feel that sound. Carry the pressure out of your body. Now say this out loud, even if it's a whisper.
I don't owe anyone the version of me that keeps them comfortable.
I can say no and still be loved.
I come first. I come home to me.
One more breath. Inhale. Exhale. Stand. Own it. You are not the cleanup crew for other people's reactions . Let that truth echo in your body.
[00:04:00] Where in your life are you the most afraid of being called too much?
Where do you still soften your edges to stay likable.
Who taught you that being honest was dangerous?
Let your breath move through the answers. Not to fix them, but to feel them so they don't own you anymore. Notice if your body wants to shift, stretch or sigh. Let it. This is how you reclaim space.
You're not here to be palatable. You're here to be real. So today, practice letting yourself disappoint someone. Don't [00:05:00] explain. Don't soften. Don't rush to fix it. That's where your nervous system learns .
I am safe even if someone else is uncomfortable. Healing begins.
You're not the peacekeeper, you're the truth holder, and truth doesn't need permission. You can always return here. One breath, one boundary, one bold "no at a time." See you tomorrow.
You were never meant to earn your worth by being easy to love. Say no, take up space, and remember—your truth doesn’t need permission.
